金金金的異客生活

I feel uncomfortable. I still don't know why I am here.

I am sick of speaking English but unfortunately I have to. 
Most of people are kind to me but there're also some others
who are very cold and mean. I don't know what is polite and 
what is appropriate. I have been learning so hard but still can't 
avoid making mistakes. I am sorry but I still feel nervous when 
I speak English sometimes. So please don't look at me that way 
as if I just say sth stupid. I am here to study and to pursue my 
dreams but I am struggling now. When can I live but not just try to survive? 

There are good things though.
I have my family, my friends, and Juanjo. 
You are everything to explain why I' m here.


><Can you imagine how upset I am to deal with the fucking machine 
and to have strong homesick at the same time?